Saturday, December 5, 2009

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Hay Hay

Hayley (pronounced /ˈheɪli/) is a given name and a surname of Old English origin that means "from the hay meadow",[1]although it has been suggested that it is from the Old Norse word "haela" meaning "hero"

she came in a little package, she came as a surprise.
when he told me quite confidently almost in a conceited manner that she is a girl,
I prayed that she would have big eyes.

some nights I wonder why did God bless me so quickly with another while I was left years waiting for my first.
I saw a beautiful model, brunette, dark brown eyes in the discovery channel one night. Brightest smile.
if i had a daughter, I wish for her to be like her.. A Hayley.

Hayley a Hero.
She lives up to her name

Her stem cells was collected during birth in hope that one day...
She was only two when she took a tissue from the box to wipe the tears off my face
She shifts the stray strands of hair off my face with her tiny fingers
She gives tiny massage to me, my relatives and friends
She brings her brother to class before going to her own
She asked others to leave her brother alone and not to bully him (a privilege she reserves for herself)

She thinks she knows alot so she has plenty to share
we call her auntie becos she reminds us of one..
She Nags
just that day she asked me to wear my clothes properly.

God knew I needed an Angel .. but he know I am a skeptic.. So Hay.

Mama loves you.. happy birthday baby. you are mama's hero.

Friday, November 13, 2009









Capital B


Friday, October 30, 2009


you watching
you reading
why don;t you
if God listens
why don't
arrogance hush
why don;t you

Thursday, August 20, 2009

the fan

when I was young,
I used to sit in a classroom
which had no aircon
it came only with a ceiling fan

turning and turning

one day when I looked up
the ceiling fan didn't look quite fasten to the ceiling
it swing violently
the only thing that is holding it was the wires
and it looked as if it was going to fall off the ceiling

I was rather terrified
I was afraid it would drop and chop my head off with its crazy swinging out of control blades

It didn't of course

ceiling fans only existed in school and hospitals
not in HDB flats cos the ceiling were just too low for them

when I came to malaysia
I was surprised to find them in houses

Eventually I got a chance to own a house of my own
and I had to make a choice between standing fan or the ceiling fan
the fear of crazy ceiling fan never left me
But they told me the ceiling fan is more effective in cooling room area than standing fan
and they also explained to me that one must fasten a hook on the beam
and the fan will be hooked to the beam hence it is very very safe
I bought the ceiling fan and got some expert to install it

it turns and cools the room
but I still stare at it and take photo of it
becos you just never know...

Friday, August 14, 2009

Waitng for Harvest

cut the trees,
clear the land,
plough the fields,
sow the seeds,
nurse the young,
pluck the weeds,
watch the crops,
sit and wait
watch up the sky,
feel the heat.. feel the damp
work the fields,
wait for harvest
as green turns to gold
harvest is good

season after seasons
they pray to the sky
they pray that the unforeseen will be taken care of..
they did what we do

with eyes half blind we followed our guts
we whispered a prayer and do what needed to be done
we worked "the fields"
with sweats, tears and blood though they are almost hard to see

we have physical muscles to show
but we know we are tough as bulls
we know that regardless how the locust plagues
we will not forsake
a mission we were call upon to do
so when it time to harvest
the dance is for God and us
for we know the harvest is good
the Harvest is for us.


O.. Pull it out.
yank it.
Draw out your syringe
relieve me the pain
Spread the word
pain is unbearable
you animal..
You've punctured a hole..
draw whatever you want
but withdraw your syringe..
relieve me..

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Definitely Not Necessary

Plagues happen due to negligence.
Due to conceitedness
Due to intended forgetfulness
I was at the accident and emergency ward today and a few days ago.
like a war zone, the casualties are flooding through the doors.
Everyone is wearing mask. Cannot tell who has the flu and who hasn't.
I start to think why are there so many people becoming sick.
Poor nutrition.. due to the poor quality of food produce.
stress lack of sleep....pollution.. bad water..

then Plague strikes and suddenly everything is forced to a halt.
everything everyone is scrutinised
when the drugs don't work..
we humble ourselves to seek help from our divine forces

Precaution is better than cure..
Do take care..

Sunday, July 26, 2009

The storyteller

2+5 = 7 ... july = 7... 1st of july is 7
7 is a Perfect number..

God rested on the Seventh day, sanctified it and made it holy.

a creative soul listens, understands, empathises and feels..
a creative heart retells
a creative being inspires
a creative's art never dies..

I remember because on a joyous occasion you made me sad,
I remember because on a tough day you made it easy
I remember because on a sad night you made me smile

I will remember because you left me gifts
My children will remember because I will not forget.

YA: "I want."
DO: "Madam, this is the best I can do. I cannot bring it to you because I don't know where you are."

Rest in Peace Story teller Yasmin

Friday, July 24, 2009

starting point

The body has finally gave in to the constant abuse and neglect. During the pursuit, one has forgotten the reason.

it is for the money. with the money they feel they have the right.
the right to demand
the right to bargain
the right to abuse

we gave in
because we were after the money
the money which promises the life we want
if we have the money, we would possibly have a key to open that treasure box.
with this it gave us a right
the right to excuse
the right to absent
the right to abuse
hours passed..
with narrow focus we continue to pursue
that is the purpose to our life..
doesn't matter so long as we are an inch closer to our imagination

when it is over..
we suddenly begin to pay the price which was due as a result of our pursuit
the Money we wanted instead of building that dream went
to the doctor
to the shrink
to the many material demands
to our vices

we realised we are now further away from the dream..

a figment of our narrowed imagination.

holding the things we have in our hands.. our values, our principles, our family, our friends, our community.. our heritage.
we have more than what Money can buy..
we hold our dreams right within our hands

The body has finally gave in to the constant abuse and neglect. During the pursuit, one has forgotten the reason.

suddenly black out .. you are called HOME ..
just like that
just like that ..
its over ...

Imagine at what price are we willing to price in pursuit of the dream..

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


it would seem too obvious..
that red told black..
black watched the red.
what red told to black was not blue
Blue didn't quite appear yellow
but red told black
yellow it would be
it would seem obvious
the yellow is not
blue is neither
what red told black is not
black cannot understand red.
red wouldn't listen
red will just continue to tell black
black wanted to talk too
black has no voice
at this point black realise
black has no voice.
red, blue, yellow and black... CMYK... MCYK... Maybe it Can Yours to taKe...

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Making sense

nothing made sense
6 months to plan a wedding ..
the most beautiful gown
a perfect setting
the perfect smile
a ballroom full of guests
with God's blessing
we set off to fulfill the vows.
we start off with a bed, and we build a house
to fill it with little voices, to fill the emptiness within the hearts
but there was no reflection
no one but ourselves
we are not perfect
we are not
now we have no party
no guest would turn up
no celebration except our own
no one but ourselves..
Now we are one
Making sense..

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

don't just leave me alone

a lonely man.
a misunderstood man.
a man obsessed in perfecting his craft.
A life devoted to his art perhaps the one thing he knew he couldn't be wrong.
Million even billions followed him.. yet is there one who would stand up to say he/she truly knew him?
a mutated super human.. for sheer entertainment purpose
for our entertainment we admired him, idolised him as much as scrutinised, persecuted and humiliated.
50years on earth... yet he bore a distorted view of life, beauty and what love is
As he was hidden behind his talents and gifts, he thought without it no one would love him
he changed himself so that he can be Perfect for himself.
Perfection was what he gave in his craft..
I have the good fortune to witness this perfection.
I was fascinated by him, in awe of him, in love with him once..

I waited for him to come back..
I never believed what they said about him...
but I never understood who he is..
He was too big for me... I didn't had a chance to say I saw him performed Live in this lifetime..
His legacy lives... and today I will say Michael Jackson... Thank you.
You have given your all...

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

end days

Dear God.
am i blessed to be present during the end days..
where once again we have forgotten you.
where we worshipped so many before you
have you harvested and said time have come for judgements
have you stop blessing us with children as you know there are not much left to offer
have we forgotten the sanctity of holy union
have we decide the write our commandments
God my sky is blurry but the sun is beautifully filtered
God the plague of diseases is travelling, they are at my backyard
God I feel your hands moving me, moulding and carving me into a warrior
God have you forgotten to armour me with courage
cos I fear and tremble
I ask ... Dear God be merciful.
(in Jesus name i pray Amen)

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Tuesday, June 9, 2009


Chiaroscuro (Italian for light-dark) is a term in art for a contrast between light and dark. The term is usually applied to bold contrasts affecting a whole composition, but is also more technically used by artists and art historians for the use of effects representing contrasts of light, not necessarily strong, to achieve a sense of volume in modeling three-dimensional objects such as the human body.

I interpret it this way.. 

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

every artist has a bitter gourd

Art is much like bitter gourd.
friendly on the appearance but bitter in its taste.
its an acquired taste. Not every one understands it. 
Some absolutely hate the bitterness, while others love to have it every other day.
Cook it this way and that, fry it with eggs, with salt fermented bean paste with pork or chicken,
deep fried with curry powder or boiled into soup.
Diabetics take them for its medicinal properties..

So when art is as obscure as bitter bitter gourd..
I have since grown up and acquired a taste for it .. a love.
the taste which like no ordinary... lingers long after the matter dissolved
it has worked its way into my system, bringing a general well being. 

there stands one who has a bitter seed growing within.. 
Cultivate a new species known as 
bitter gourd padi.. small yet bitter like hell.

to all YOU bitter artists of this world.. may your bitterness lives long, lingers and torments the living soul-less who wonders.... in search...

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Oh Mr Prime Minister

he has stepped into his office... sat onto his long awaited seat.
The crowd whispers.. the controversy looms.
A queue awaits.. the starved must be fed.
as he climbs up his pedestal, he knows he must be read.
What else could serve up better.. than to pronounce he is 1.
For at least the legacy he leaves behind, is the 1 that none deny.
On the left sits his kin, on the right sits a Maverick.
Both knew this is his time.. but both with a bone to pick.

Today I flipped my news, today I saw we've been used..
While you proclaimed we as ONE.
Rest assured, We will be the ones, you lose.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009


Happy Birthday Panda!
A cheerful face walked into my office one day. She is hoiyan, her pants caught my eyes.
She was here to interview for a part time art director position.
My company was struggling to find a footing as a design firm.. I couldn't afford a full time art director but badly needed creative directing. She showed me her portfolio which kept a range of creative, intelligent, well planned yet simple design works. She was a perfect fit.
Since she joined, she has sat in my room and taught me much about design, account servicing, business management, marketing, human resource management, arts in malaysia etc. etc. most importantly about life and living it.
On my birthday in 2005, she gave me a blank journal with only a few pages decorated with photos taken by her from different places. As i examined the photos I see:
Colour, sepia, black and white. Symmetrical, asymmetrical. Subjects from plants to architecture to babies. From Malaysia to Bali to China. From inside the living room to the bustling streets of KL.
Depths, rhythm, light and shade, harsh light, soft shadows, subtle to obvious. Ultra clear to the fuzzy. The single to a quad... She has done it all. Before facebook, before SLR, before iphone.
She has taught me much.. perhaps with perhaps without her knowledge. She travelled to ipoh,to penang, to kuching with me. Together we went and explore off beat places, I stayed in a backpacker's joint instead of fancy hotel, we saw cultural things or walks into lives of locals. 

The complexity in her intellect is not reflected from the simplicity in her dressing or her living. She made me looked at my world differently and led to find a group of people whom I aspire to think alike.

Today I celebrated her birthday. Sheepishly I showed up without a present. I asked her what would you like? Thinking to myself, perhaps something for her new found hobby "baking" or even Ikea vouchers. But with a voice equalled to an excited kid she told me "I want your photos, print it out big and frame it like that." pointing to the photo I hanged in my office. I am dumbfounded.. I am in shock...

Panda, you are an extraordinary person.. your creativity has surpassed art form and has intertwined into different facets of life. You are so creative and knowledgeable, so brave to challenge the norms, so generous in sharing your knowledge, all through actions and not by words. As I try to keep up.. you are already miles ahead. You said you see your shadow in my photos. Perhaps you should know I am the one chasing your shadow.

I thank you and dedicate this blog to you..

Happy Birthday Panda Yap Hoi Yan.

p.s extraordinary people touch my life everyday

Monday, May 18, 2009

My Husband

Happy Birthday to You Puss. 
You are a very special man.
I love you so dearly. 

Saturday, May 16, 2009


I thought about falling into the river, but I coaxed myself telling myself no it won't happen to me. 
I decided I have all my friends including my hubby surrounding me, like a human barricade i will be fine. I said a prayer, listen to the safety instructions, without a second thought I jumped into the raft and brave the current. 
Not bad for a freaking first timer with aqua phobia who can't swim for nuts. 
The irony is I who was most paranoid about falling ended up being the first to fall out of the raft. it was only 5 mins max from time we started and BOOM the warm up rapids hit us and out I flew.. I went straight into the water.. nothing to cling on to..wash away quickly by the strong currents. first thing in my mind is OH NO.. this cannot be.. my biggest fear! then while drinking a whole lot of water, I told myself.. do do do ..float float what the instructor say.. as the current wash me further further.. I felt really helpless.. sad that this has happened. 
Suddenly the current became mildly and I saw myself moving towards BIG ROCKs.. it then daunts on me to go grab so I will stop flowing downstream. Just in the nick of time, SALVATION.. a fellow rafter came and pull me up into their raft. So just like that I am saved. 
I have 2 mins to recover before I rejoin my friends in my raft and we are back to brave more rapids.. The Next one is BOOM BOOM. BIGGEST ONE..

Funny that few seconds seem symbolical to the chain of events that has happened in my life in recent years. Life is unpredictable.. its full of rapids.... when I fell right to the pits .. when I thought this is it.. someone came and pull me right out. You can imagine what it would be liked, fear it, rehearse and rehearse the emergency drill but until an actual event happens you will never know how you would react.. I know I am fighter .. I fight amidst my fear, my sadness, my weakness, my despair, my inadequacies... I hung tight onto a fact in this lifetime there is much left undone..and I will fight till God calls me home and say this is good enough. Best of all, I rejoiced on the fact that when I am back from rock bottom, my love ones, my friends, my fellow warriors are there to share the moment with me. 

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Wong Seng Chow - Rice Wine & Dancing Girls

Firstly I must confess, I am not an ardent book reader. 
I failed in my multiple attempts to read a book. I sometimes find a book, read it half way and lost interest. Sometimes I find the book too long winded and I skipped right to the end portion and forget the in betweens. I have many books of all kinds, from cookery books, travel books, business books, advertising books etc. etc. and then the faithful story books.

I don;t like novels many too fictitious for my fancy. But on pre mother's day. My hubby and I plus Hay went to Annexe the alternative book fair. There I found a book. Title: Rice Wine & Dancing Girls by Wong Seng Chow. Well yes it is the cover.. the cover caught my eye. the sub head reads: 
The real -life drama of a roving cinema manager in Fifties Malaysia and Singapore. as I scanned through the book, I helplessly fell in love with the old black and white pictures. And as I read the first 2 pages of the book, I fell immediately in love with reading again. 

I paid Rm35 for this book and couldn't wait to start reading it immediately. 
first day I reached page 60, but I left the book at the office yesterday now I am at page 97. 
an achievement. 

A father's tale told by his son, by accident cos its only later that the son found his father's journal entries of his life. 

today's read: "This wasn't the first time I had travelled on a boat.When I was five or six years old, my parents made a trip back to China with me in tow and my sister Ching, who was barely two years old, strapped to my mother back in a cloth craddle. We had to make our way to Singapore first and then board a crowded tongkang (bumboat) that ferried us to a steamer bound for hong kong. Seated at the bottom of the tongkang and surrounded by adults, all I could see was the sky above, just like the proverbial frog at the bottom of the well. I don't remember much about the actual journey to Hong Kong or how we got to the mainland after that....." 3 paras later
"Again I don't remember much about our return journey except for the humiliating experience when we disembarked in Singapore. Deck passengers were herded like animals into bumboats and dumped at St John's Island, which had a lazaretto and was used as a quarantine station to deal with Cholera-infected immigrants. We were forced to cleanse ourselves by taking surphur baths and have all our belongings fumigated before being allowed to step ashore on the main island. When I think about it , the amazing thing about the whole trip was that I was perfectly alright during the long voyage to and fro. ..."

Amazing. 4 to 5 decades ago.. travelling to China via tongkang. I would not have survived 2 hour boat ride let alone days and weeks. my mother told me she went back to china by boat too when she was around 6 years old. How would she have endured the journey is again a real fascination. Herded around to take surphur bath? how inhumane yet an act to preserve humanity? so ironic. How could one have endured this. With H1N1, bird flu, Mad cow, SARS, would the day come when we too be herded into confined camps for surphur baths or perhaps acid baths. 

As I sit lamenting on all my daily frustrations, like a little spoilt brat.. I read and realised how far we have come. while a few days on the tongkang was once considered a short journey, I now cringed on the idea of spending few hours in an airplane. My ancestors travelled weeks under horrendous circumstances to a promise land in search for Prosperous future for their descendants. KONG KONGS n MAH MAHs KAM SIA Thank You. I pray that your spirits of perseverance and endurance continues to live in me.. make me strong and make me shine for your pride. 

Good Night my beloved, lets do good tomorrow. 

Monday, May 11, 2009

Mother's Day

一生, 一世。
不理,我好我坏。 我小我大。我男我女。

我对你的爱,非你给我大, 但一样一生一世。无边无境。

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

How does One Say Goodbye?

Ssh.. don't mention the word.. how could you.
Its so unfair. Have you not think about your parents?
In face of danger, sadness and despair.. sometimes the word 'Die' flash cross my head.
It even stays for while. I shared this thought with my closest ones and it really takes a lot for them to convince me otherwise. I think perhaps God knew, he needs to give me a reminder to stick around, until its due time, so he planted KB and Hay into my system. Just the one thought of them losing their mother is enough to hold me back from thinking further.

Being a Mother is a privilege. 
So how does a mother say goodbye? Angie diagnosed with cancer 3 years ago and when her condition worsened this year. When doctor tells you, you have less than 1 week to live, in times like this how do you say your goodbye? Amidst her pain i.e. jaundice, chemotherapy, swollen legs, blood clots... she planned her exit. She said her goodbyes to friends to her relatives, to her siblings, to her mother, to her husband and then to her young children. She will have to leave knowing that she cannot be there..when they are afraid, when they get hurt, when they fall sick and when they cry.. Now with that in mind, how do you leave with a smile on face?
How can you leave leaving a smile on others faces? 

With all the energy, she has left, she channelled her fears, pains and sorrows, into pride, joy, dignity and optimism. She says life has to carry on, however ways we have been dealt with.
Focus not on the DIE but rather How the Person have LIVED. She celebrates, thank and praise. She comforts the sad and lost.  Again, I cannot understand, why I took on such interest in someone I have never met. But as I looked, I find this lady more amazing. She inspires me and makes me reflect, what would I like out of this life? And like her, how and what I would celebrate for at my departure.  

P.S. RIP Angie.. I dedicate tonight's blog to you, your three children, your husband and your family. Thank You, You have inspired me. 
That day when you arrived at Heaven, I looked up into the sky and it was child like, fluffy clouds... it was... Happy. God bless your children and your husband.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

All I need

Dear God,
Please forgive if I have sinned against you.
Please forgive if I have done wrong against my neighbours.
Please allow me an unusual way of praying using my blog.

I want to pray for my children, Father please keep them healthy. Please take the fever away from Kobe. Heavenly Father, please watch over my Hayley girl the little artist. Please help her remember the word 草. Please help her remember to dot the 树. Please help her remember the chinese spelling. Please remind her in her heart and her mind that she is precious to me, and I love her so dearly. Please hold Kobe's hands, please whisper words to remind him what a special boy he is and how clever he is. Please tell him that I love him so very much and he has to learn to read a book to me.

Heavenly father, take care of my parents. Keep them happy and in love. Keep them healthy.
Father, I pray for health, strength, courage and peace for my beloved husband. You will be right there mentoring him in all tough situations he faces. That in you there will be no fear. Remind him that I so love him and I think about him during my day.

As I walk on this path with you Lord. I thank you for opening my eyes to this world, bringing so many wonderful people into my life. Though sometimes, I feel like I am in a dark forest, seeing no end. I have faith that you are right there with me. Give me fresh eyes, give me a soft sensitive heart, give me strength and confidence. Give me wisdom father. 

I pray for my siblings and in laws, that you keep them close under your watchful eyes. Let them find joy peace and comfort in you. I pray for my colleagues, that in the deep night as they retire into their bedrooms, God will you whisper to them that they are so gifted and special. They have done so well. They have truly displayed your marvelous creations in the best manner. 

Lord, I am tired tonight, I must confess. So many thoughts running through my head which I feel lost trying to switch them off. I pray that Father, you will too whisper in my ears to say that "Diane, that's good enough, you have done well" 

I thank you Lord. You are indeed my God. 
In Jesus name, I pray Amen.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Calling for All

I am in between.
My mom tried to talk to me. She illustrated with several examples.
The victorious rise of the underdogs.
She said its strange but she feels this is the season for the underdogs.
Look at Slumdogs Millionaires then look at Susan Boyle, which I have never heard of prior to tonight.
Who would have thought?
Really who would have thought the sickly brat.. being creative?
Drama from the drama.
Well watch out for the new super hero the "Admin Guy" 
entering the dark cynical artistic world, cutting through the thick gloomy clouds, 
casting sparkles, showering administrative love, rescuing lost creative souls...
Something like this.

My husband told me its like the unpolished diamond, as you polish and polish..
it will sparkles. 

you creative souls out there. Check this out lah.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

what if there's really nothing.

I showed my mom my photos. She looks at some very careful. She skipped a few. She laughed at a few. In the end she chose a few to keep. I was so happy. Mom being mom. 

Then I waited. I showed my dad my photos. Its the equivalent to submitting your painting to AWS. All excited .. hopeful that maybe I would score this round. He is a tough judge hard to please. If he said nice, I know I would have been qualified. Made it! 

He run through them .. 10s, 20s, 30s.. spending less than secs at each. Some of them are facing him in the wrong direction.. but it wasn't interesting enough for him to even take that extra sec to turn them around to look again. He stopped at a few asking me where were they taken, but those were not my proudest. .. I asked him if he knew the orientation of my photos. He quickly demonstrated he knew and continued skimming them. I wished I never had shown him.

I felt like a 6 year old..that moment. I didn;t feel I had the courage to defend my works. 
nothing could have consoled me.

He later told me .. he felt I had 'nothing' in the photos as in everything was of equal emphasis so the audience didn't know what to look at.. He said I was just shooting what i liked.. for myself.

That's so partly true.. what's so special to me has been shared to others. I hope to bring that same fascination I have with them to others too, especially my loved ones.

But I walked away asking myself... seriously what if there's really nothing.. nothing there worth sharing. 

p.s. for those of you who kept my photos. Thank you. Thank you very much. 

One step Forward ...

One step forward, two steps back. definition:
"something that you say which means every time you make progress, something bad happens which causes you to be in a worse situation than you were to begin with. Every solution we come up with seems to create more problems than it solves, so it's one step forward, two steps back."

As I took the courage to move ahead.. but things are holding me back.
I cannot really set myself free.
They thought it would not be possible and I have taken ownership to their beliefs.
How could those inaccurate judgments determine an unknown consequence?
They are no longer valid nor appropriate. Why haven't you validate?
I have decided to move ahead.. to move fast.. and to forward.
My thirst is beyond your understandings. I have a Calling don't you know?
The voice ringing inside my head.
A Vision is for me to fulfill.

It will be many many a steps forward.. and there will be no no step back.

Saturday, April 25, 2009


extracted from wikipedia
The Ramly Burger, also known as the Burger Ramly, is a Malaysian burger created by Ramly Moknin popular in Malaysiaand Singapore. Though the term "Ramly Burger" may refer to any of the hamburgers sold in a Ramly Burger stall, it most commonly refers to the Ramly Burger Special. While the amount and type of ingredients vary greatly depending on location, a typical Ramly Burger consists of a beef or chicken pattymargarineonions, an eggcabbagemayonnaiseWorcestershire sauce and Maggi Seasoning. This list is subjective, however, as Ramly Burgers are famous for being highly customizable.

Oh. i wonder where to find a good ramly burger. I have never heard or seen a ramly burger before I set foot in Malaysia. 
When I first saw Ramly I was pretty disgusted by its preparation. I thought burger means macdonalds or burger king. So what is Ramly. I was only introduced to it when my husband's friend BAI and his brother (now deceased God bless his soul) opened a Ramly Stall outside their house. the love affair grew.. and became full blown when I was carrying KB inside me. Everynight I would crave for Ramly. So my fixation for a good Ramly began. 
So I often sniffed out where the good Ramly stalls are and tonight I want to share this one with you.

It is called brother stall.. then again any supper stall is called a brother's stall.
Situated outside a corner chinese restaurant bee fatt at Damansara Uptown, opposite the food court. 
His Ramly burger scores an 8.5 out 10 on average. 
if you are damn hungry it shoots right out of the chart and becomes 10.5 out of 10. 
YOU boleh order apa apa. THE MAGIC IS IN HIS SAUCE.. saya tak tau dalam sos ada apa.. tapi sagat istimewa. hahaaha.
My Hubby orders DAGING SPECIAL.
this place is not suitable for vegetarians or seafood vegetarian.. :(
I strongly recommend a stroll to the neighbourhood magazine stall Selvan or bookstall First Edition for side order.
Magazines goes well with junk food. 
YUM YUM YUM. Enjoy. 
I am not the only blogger who blog about him check this out.

p.s. brother is actually brother john.. man .. I am smart.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Intangible Tangible

I was idling at 12.05pm at damansara area.
Too little time to go back office. Too much time to spend before picking up kb at 12.30pm.
I wonder off a few streets away from kb school and as I was driving I found a very interesting bakery cum cafe place. its called the bread shop.
To feed my curiosity, I walked into the shop. The ultra modern industrial interior,basic building materials, golden luscious breads at the counter..oooo 
I was so proud of my surprise find.
I looked at the beautiful tempting selection, chose a simple plain roll and a black coffee. 
Paid, i chose a seat at the cement counter.. I thought this is just bliss.
But as I am sitting there enjoying the place, I wrote a little something :

You can look
You be inspired
You can emulate
but you cannot take away.
All striped down, 
what's in the centre of things and creations
is one's imagination.
I came and I paid RM8 for a plain roll and black coffee.
I didn't pay to eat or drink
I paid to enjoy a part of your dream.

The owner of this place turned an intangible thought i.e dream into a tangible, that tangible place i.e. setting brought out the intangibles,calm, tranquility, comfort, admiration, inspiration, happiness, inside me. 

it all started with a thought, a question of 'what if?', a wild imagination.

I firmly believe that it is those who can turn the intangibles into tangibles which evokes intangibles who are indeed successful.

Let me bring to this place one day and you will understand why I was so inspired.

Candy Shop

I took 40mins to put my pictures into a Pendrive.
I took my daughter and RM57, I walked into my candy shop.
It took me one day of anticipation.
It took 2 men to save my files, to run it through the machine.
It took 20 mins to develop my photos.
It took 1 friendly lady to talk to me while waiting.
It cost RM55.30 in total.
I took back 150photos.
2 colours 4colours.. 
I walked out of the candy shop. 
I took one look and knew I am the happiest child on earth tonight.

Hole lee Crap!

Hole lee days..
Hole lee ness..
Hole lee Cow?
but today, all I would like to say is Hole lee Crap!
Full of crap. the kind of crap people can offload is simply amazing.
The amount of crap a person can take before exploding is also equally as amazing.
So its been a productive day.. but yet it too is a pretty crappy day cos some where out in the wild .. some crappy buggers have passed some real dung into our systems. 
Real crap.. leaving me and many of us a distaste.... 

Thursday, April 23, 2009


I have been taking photos while I am driving. 
Thank God it not against the law to be holding the phone camera.
and as you are driving it difficult to capture a lot of things especially when you are constantly in motion. 
So I end up taking a lot of what is stationary. the sky. The sky is vast , bright and filled with interesting forms. The clouds don't move becos I am driving. it stays still as if it is posing for me to take pictures. 
I spent a lot of time driving, I honestly hate having to drive so much. I just recently recover from a phobia for driving. I had to distract myself. So I decided to use my handy portable phone camera to take pictures. I really don;t look at what pictures I am taking. I see something I like I just take out the camera and snap snap snap. And its only when I download then I get to see what I have taken. And some of the best pictures feature the clouds in the sky. 

They are unpredictable. in many of my pictures are literally the white fluffy cotton clouds. they make you wish you can run between them. But you and i know, that they are not always like this. When they turn dark and gloomy, thick and angry, red, purple grey or black, you and i know what comes after. They flash and roar as if we have done them wrong. They rain and pour gallons and gallons of rain water,  as if they are moaning for unrest souls.  

There are days, where they made me moody, made me sad, made me worried and made me scared...of course their rain made me wet too. Then just as you think it will never end, the rain stop. And cloudless sky becomes unbearable, and we send planes up into the sky to make clouds again. ..

So people around me, are like clouds. Being with them on their fluffy days are like a walk through heaven. You wish its like that forever. But when you see them turning dark and grouchy, you want to quickly stay far away and hide. But I cannot leave without the clouds that is a fact.  I will cloud seed if I have to. 

and just like clouds... they too fly away someday ..

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


Look! they are real. you can touch them.
i did this becos of these people... becos they inspired me.
yap hoi yan - she gave me a journal with her treasured photos. She is a creative genius.
janice tyan - another creative soul, my sifu, my biggest cheer leader.
raymond chang whose recent fixation on photography, made me look at photo taking in a different light. you inspired me.
Erna Dyanty- your photos. oooo la la.
dora ong who is always there with encouraging words.
Mojo and Phanie, whose beautiful phototaking habit has really rub off.
Looloo who keeps updating the technical know hows in photography
Joshua who keep posting the ahhhhahhh.. I wish i did that photos.
my dad who I love very much, who gave me the first photos in my life, whose attitude towards life continues to inspire me.
my mom, becos she is my mom and I love her so so so very much. 
Hayley and Kobe who taught me to view this life from a different angle.
my green Iphone without you, where will there be my beautiful photos.
Last but not least. God. When I look at the photos I see You and your creations. 


they keep saying the only constant is Change. 
If change is a constant and human by default don't like changes.
Constant = Change and Change = Dislikes
Constant = Dislikes
Hence the equation shows that we will be in a constant mode of dislikes and displeasure.
The weather keeps changing. But we kinda adapt accordingly.
Trends keep changing, and we try desperately to adopt 
Technology keeps changing and we pay a bomb just to keep up
Cannot say that all change are bad then.
perhaps if we get something out of the change and its something desirable then we won;t resist change as much...
I think we get really touchy if someone change something of our creation, something we take ownership of, something which we feel we have put in alot of effort in doing.
Changing it would be seen as a threat, a sign of disrespect hence we will show a lot of resistance.
Like if you were to change the way I write this blog then you will be asking for it.. the same goes for my photo. 
So perhaps, if change is inevitable, then perhaps we should not take so much ownership in things. Make them things of the public... then perhaps when its being changed .. it won't hurt as much.
I blog to help myself tonight.. to talk to myself about issues I face... to explain to myself of why some things happened the way it happened.. 
Perhaps you can share with me your views about change...

Monday, April 20, 2009

Sunday, April 19, 2009


Do you know i used to play badminton, table tennis, bowling and then golf?
I used to play badminton with my primary school friend.
I cannot remember her name. She is the only one who would encourage me to play.
I think I am handicapped cos my hand eye coordination is really bad.
But she insisted cos i think she cannot find a partner to play with her.
We would play at the playground behind my house in Jalan Bukit Merah.
No court, no net. Just 100% cement floor. I can never see where's the 'ball', shuttlecock?
On rare occasions, I would managed to hit it back to my friend, and that would be enough to trigger me into buy the TOP of TOP range badminton racket..YONEX! I made sure it was light, it was shiny, it had a special name which i cannot remember now. Most importantly, when I swing aka SMASH, it will make a whipping sound. Straight after I bought the badminton racket, my friend and I grew less fond of each other. I think she figured WDF playing with me. She had a better chance playing with a wall. 
I would consider one day picking up that badminton sport again. After gaining much inspiration from my new home country and its world famous players. Not to mention a chance to meet LIN DAN.. zero? 
Cool. Proton I would like to play badminton. Will you sponsor a novice like me? 

Friday, April 17, 2009

Hallo Anybody?

48 hours and hours counting.
Deprived of food, water and sleep send my brains and system into a tailspin.
Amidst this I try to pretend I can behave like a pro but actually I feel worse than a toilet bowl.
Figures, designs, time management, deadlines, rationale, wit, heart .. I cannot keep track.
It feel likes it will never end.. the drama keeps playing.
I feel like the marathon runner.. sprinting towards the goal only....
I swing between different state of minds.. I wanted to quit.. I really did.
Pit stop .. I get to recover alittle.. but I am vomitting, suffering an aftermath.
I took some photos to commemorate what I did and document how I feel.
I show you if you don;t mind. I let my camera do the talking and it did a perfect job.
p.s. Best of all, I am really not alone and many suffered worse.