Then I waited. I showed my dad my photos. Its the equivalent to submitting your painting to AWS. All excited .. hopeful that maybe I would score this round. He is a tough judge hard to please. If he said nice, I know I would have been qualified. Made it!
He run through them .. 10s, 20s, 30s.. spending less than secs at each. Some of them are facing him in the wrong direction.. but it wasn't interesting enough for him to even take that extra sec to turn them around to look again. He stopped at a few asking me where were they taken, but those were not my proudest. .. I asked him if he knew the orientation of my photos. He quickly demonstrated he knew and continued skimming them. I wished I never had shown him.
I felt like a 6 year old..that moment. I didn;t feel I had the courage to defend my works.
nothing could have consoled me.
He later told me .. he felt I had 'nothing' in the photos as in everything was of equal emphasis so the audience didn't know what to look at.. He said I was just shooting what i liked.. for myself.
That's so partly true.. what's so special to me has been shared to others. I hope to bring that same fascination I have with them to others too, especially my loved ones.
But I walked away asking myself... seriously what if there's really nothing.. nothing there worth sharing.
p.s. for those of you who kept my photos. Thank you. Thank you very much.